The Results Of Women That Grew Up Without Fathers

A fatherless daughter can be defined as a woman who grew up without a father in her life, a father who was physically present (alive), but emotionally absent. As a result of this she struggles with issues of abandonment, emptiness and the feeling of being unloved or unwanted.
“The role of father is to teach his daughter how to be in a non-sexual, intimate relationship with a man,” says life coach Iyanla Vanzant. In fact, it’s the first relationship a daughter has with a man and therefore teaches her how a woman should be treated. However, if dad leaves, Vanzant explains that the daughter lacks that healthy model and often seeks to fill that void in a variety of ways.
While some women may disagree with this and feel as if the absence of their father in their lives had little or no impact on them, if they were to really look they would see its impact manifested in many forms. These range from being promiscuous, seeking validation in all the wrong places, being too clingy, too defensive, or having a fear of rejection. Afraid of commitment, this woman doesn’t let men get too close to her, becoming emotionally cold or withdrawn.
Her sense of self will be tainted, and no matter how pretty, vibrant, lovable, funny, or intelligent she may seem, her self-confidence is damaged or non-existent.

Anyone who grew up without a father knows what pain and struggle it is to walk around with a broken heart caused by the one man who helped to bring you in this world. But the pain can be healed and your broken heart mended if you:
1. Acknowledge one simple phrase, “Daddy’s gone”, says Vanzant.
2. Take ownership for your actions by not blaming your father’s absence for how your life turned out.
3. Let go of the past.
4. Forgive yourself for the things you told yourself such as, “You were not important to your father”, “you were too ugly for him to love” or “you were too black for him to love”, etc.
5. Forgive your father for not knowing how his absence would affect you, as chances are he was a fatherless son who didn’t know how to be a father.


Black women in many ways are like water

People have polluted us and poisoned the life within us. Yet we’re still strong. We forge a new path when needed, and provide life to all. Everyone drinks from us. There’s nothing in the world more powerful. We’re harmonious and peaceful like the waves when treated correctly. Yet rambunctious and obstreperous, like a tsunami when mistreated. There’s a calming strength in us, that can’t be duplicated.




14 Unexpected Things That Make Women Want To Have Sex

For many men, the reasons a woman might want to have sex are a mystery. They spend hours pondering the web looking for reasons a woman’s sex drive might be do them the good service of running hot when next they meet.
The truth is, there isn’t a whole lot to it. Scientifically, women are just as easy to make horny as men, and the different reasons that we find ourselves eager to have sex with someone aren’t that different from men’s.
So here are 14 things that make a woman want to have sex with you. Some may shock you … others may not.
1. You’re there at the right moment 
She’s out for a night on the town after a recent breakup, or she’s horny as hell as looking for some dick. Whatever the reason, you just happened to luck out big town.
2. You’re great at body language 
You spent the day communicating with her, not just with your words, but with what your mama gave you. That’s right, body language if done right can make a woman wet and ready.
3. You’re who she’s into 
Yeah, I know. Shocker. Hold on to your butts. Etc. If a woman’s into you, she’s eager at the prospect of boning you. Sometimes it’s just that simple.
4. You’re good at flattery 
If you’ve been complimenting her in a non-creepy way, she’s sure to be feeling more relaxed and at ease which makes letting go and enjoying a bedroom romp that much more likely.
5. You’ve got a body she digs
Sometimes a woman likes you, sometimes she likes your body. I’m not saying you’ve got to have a six pack, whatever your body type is, if she’s into it, she’s into it and that’s hot.
6. You’re a good kisser
Nothing makes a woman more open to the idea of sleeping with a guy than his abilities as a kisser. Kisses are the only insight you get into a guy’s potential bedroom prowess, after all. A good one is worth its weight in gold. And sex.
7. You’re someone she wants to demonstrate affection towards
That might sound kind of cold, but demonstrating how much we care about someone through affection is a definite reason women decide to have sex. It doesn’t mean we’re not totally into it, either.
8. You’re great at giving her space
Absence makes the heart grow fonder and the vagina hornier. Give her room to miss you and she’s more likely to be ready for a hot sex session when next you meet.
Image result for black family art
9. You’re great at talking about sex
If you’re adept at talking about sex without coming off like a creep (again, lack of creepiness in general is a great rule) it can absolutely inspire a woman to feel more turned on and eager to hit the hay.
10. You’re consistent 
You’re in a good mood, you’re trustworthy, she doesn’t expect you to lose your cool at any moment, these things make a woman feel safe and calm and when she feels safe and calm wanting to jump is not far behind.
11. You’re in the right environment 
When it comes to feeling sexy, the mood is everything. If you’re some place with a romantic vibe, be on high alert, the vibe of a place can work wonders on a woman’s sex drive.
12. You’ve made her curious 
Women go through periods in their life of intense sexual exploration. If you find yourself with a woman who is keen to play and explore, this could be exactly what’s got her so turned on.
13. You’re their when she’s NOT game for sex
You call her when you know her day has been rough, you send her playful texts throughout the week, you’re there for her in a non-sexual way which makes you even more attractive to her.
14. You’re good at a scare 
Taking her on a roller coaster or to see a scary movie, these are all things that will get her blood pumping and turn her on, plus these activities are also fun as hell.

What Happened To The Strong Black Father Figure?

james evans sr. of good times

During the 1970s there was a very popular TV show that all African Americans loved. The show was about a poor Black family living in a housing project on the South Side of Chicago. But what made the show so very enjoyable to watch (in my opinion) was the fact that there was a “Strong, Black Father Figure” in the home who loved his family and who was indeed in total command and authority over the trials and tribulations, as well as the struggles they were to overcome as an under-privileged family living in the projects.

Actor John Amos was very talented in his role as a “Strong Black Father Figure” who although poor, portrayed a man of pride, honor, virtue, honesty and integrity. He also loved his Afro wearing wife and all of his children; including his oldest son J.J. who was the somewhat very immature, buffoonish comedian of the family. This Black father refused to let society’s woes entrap and discourage him and his beloved family!!! For those of you who are unaware of the show I’m making reference to, the name of the show was called……. 
                                                   Good Times!

The show’s tragedy was that Hollywood once again reared its ugly head and stepped in and destroyed this “Strong Black Father image“. Unfortunately, James Evans Sr’s character was removed from the show because of the shows producers, writers and directors growing emphasis on the “silly buffoonery” of the elder son; played by professional comedian Jimmy Walker.
florida evans of good times
So as a result and in stereotypical fashion, James Evans Sr’s character of a “Strong Black Father Figure” and role model was killed in the show and their family became the now proverbial “Single Mother, African American Household”.
And by the way, it is no coincidence that this occurred during the 1970’s just when Feminism was taking root in American society, therefore the role of “Strong Black Father Figure” quickly became obsolete and was seen as being totally “out of character” according to those who control Hollywood.

This TV show was the first and only “real African American family that had been portrayed in all realness since the television was invented in the 1950s!!!!

Why was the “Strong Black Father Figure” removed from one of America’s most realistic, popular African American sitcoms? Was it just another ploy to destroy the Strong Black Father image in America while at the same time promoting Feminism within the African American Community?

                                                   All comments are welcome!

Why Are So Many Quality Black Women Single Today? Part 1


“I Don’t Need A Man, But I Desire To Have 
One….So Why Am I Single?”

Today there’s a very significant number of professional Black women who have positioned themselves for success with BA’s,MD’s, as well as PHD’s…..but unfortunately, 70% of them are still without the more elusive title:
Besides losing hordes of Black men towomen from other races, besides losing Black men as a result of the 1.1 million Black men who are currently incarcerated, and besides losing Black men to the down-low(homosexual) lifestyle as well as the ever increasing homicide rate among Black men today, there are other major factors that are keeping more and more Black women single now than ever before…..

     Have you met this woman?

“Why Am I Single?”
She has a great job, works very hard and she earns six figures annually. She has NO children, she’s baggage-free, and she’s in total control of her own life. She went to college, studied very hard to obtain her degree(s). She’s very attractive, very intelligent, verypersonable, articulate, well versed and seems very interested in everybody and everything……..But yet she’s SINGLE!

Or maybe you know this woman!

“Lord….Why Am I Single?”
She’s very active in the church. She’s very faithful and totally committed. She sings in the choir, serves on the usher board, and attends every church function and every committee meeting. She Loves the Lord and knows Scripture. You’d think that with her keen knowledge of the Scriptures and the respect of her church members she’d have a marriage made in Heaven……But once again, NO HUSBAND!

                            Or how about the community activist?

“Of All People, Why Am I Single?”
She’s a Black lady, or as she would prefer you to call her, a Strong, Independent, African American woman on the move. She may be sportin a short natural; or sometimes cornrow braids or perhaps even locked hair. She’s a wonderful community organizer, a greatmotivator and a cultural dynamo.
Her work for Black people speaks volumes for itself–organizing women for self-help,raising funds for a community cause and educating many others regarding new political, economical and social needs in the surrounding neighborhoods. Many Black folks look up to her while white folks know she’s a force to be reckoned with…..But again, this quality African American woman is NOT MARRIED!
      “What do ALL of these women have in common?”
These Sistahs seem to have so much going on for themselves; so what could they be lacking? Why is it they may be able to hook a man but neither of them can seem to hold a man? A great multitude of successful, single and seeking African American women today (70%) ponder over this question on a daily basis. They gather at beauty salons, fitness centers, singles retreats, women’s blogs and together over a cup of coffee at the office wondering……
                        “What’s wrong with Black men?”
They hold special prayer vigils and fast and pray and beg Jesus to send the Black men back to church. They may occasionally experience some quality Brothas attending Church functions, political rallies, or participating in protests and or other community functions, but when it’s time to go home, those quality Brothas all go home to someone else.
After asking over and over again “What’s wrong with Black men?” It never ever dawned on many of the above Black women to ask themselves….
                                    “What’s wrong with us Black women?”
What I have found out and what many of today’s Black women have yet to discover, is that….

Linear thinking, self-reliance, structured goals and direct actions on getting the job done, whether in organizing the church, promoting social club activities, or placing oneself in a position for a raise or a promotion….”ARE JUST THAT!!

However, relationship-building requires a whole different set of skills and requirements altogether. It requires making decisions that are NOT only gratify to you, but also making decisions that are very satisfactory to your partner as well. Black women it means thatsometimes you may be required to do the things that will keep the peace rather than achieve the goal. And sometimes it may even require you to take the high-road and create the peace in the first place.

Maintaining a harmonious relationship will NOT always allow you to take the straight and narrow road between two points. Sistahs, sometimes you may have to stoop in order to conquer, or sometimes you may be required to yield in order to win.

The saddest thing regarding many Black women today is that many of them have been mentally conditioned by feminism and mainstream society to embrace a very destructive,anti-man attitude.

By that I mean feminism has taught most of them that in order to be “PRO-WOMAN” they have to become “ANTI-MAN”. Feminism has also mentally conditioned multitudes of Blackwomen today that a woman (namely a self-sufficient, professional Black woman) isweak, oppressed and very passive to a man especially if she makes a conscious decision to take good care of him in the more  traditional ways that most women were taught to by their (traditional) mothers, grandmothers and or aunts in the past.

In other words, professional or career-oriented women today who strongly desire to learn how to cook for their husbands and who strongly desire to take very good care of his home as well as his children in more traditional ways are frowned upon, and in many casesscorned by today’s contemporary feminist Black women.

Traditional Black women today (professional or nonprofessional) are classified as beingweak, passive, old-fashion and very outdated by modern-day feminist Black women. They are NOT classified as strong, nor are they considered independent.

Today’s feminists foolishly believe something is definitely wrong with wanting to be a “traditional” family-oriented Black woman.

Black woman, in too many cases when dealing with Black men you will have to sometimes sacrifice being right in order to enjoy being loved.

For Example: Being acknowledged as the head of the household is an especially important thing for many Black men today since their manhood is actively challenged everywhere else. It does not matter to him that you earn $10 more a week than him. Not at all!!!

Unfortunately, many modern day, “single and seeking” Black women have been mentally conditioned to automatically claim head-of the-household simply because they earn a few dollars more a week than their male companion. As a result, many of these same Blackwomen incite catastrophic power struggles with their men on a daily basis. And because many Black women today embrace that destructive (feminist) mentality, many of them failto sustain healthy relationships. As a result, most of them go on to become so independent, so self-sufficient, so committed to the cause, to their church, to their careers and even to their own narrow individual concepts that their entire personalities project an:

                        “I DON’T NEED A MAN” ATTITUDE!”

                              So they end up without one!!!!


The Destruction of The Black Family


A civilization cannot survive without a mother, father and children.

The 1960s were especially a great time for black families. We marched together during the civil rights movement and we had powerful organizations like the Black Panther Party. In the 1960s and years prior, black families were married and the children were raised in a two parent household. They valued hard work, loyalty and had family values. There has been a noticeable change in the black family unit since the start of the 1970s. Many people will argue that the “powers that be” are out to destroy the black family and have been for decades. But why? Is it because black love is a powerful energy or does it have to do with genealogy?

Dr. Julia Hare, author and social commentator, said during the 2007 State of the Black Union at Hampton University says that there is a system that does not want to see black males and black females together. She says, “Once we come together, they understand the power and the strength of the black woman, the Queen of the universe. They also know the power of the black male, the warrior. If they would turn him loose, he would protect his family and do things that need to be done. They understand if our relationships are together, they will lose, but if our relationships are torn up, then we can forever be treated in certain ways by the oppressor.”

Blacks weren’t able to receive welfare until 1963. During these times, a welfare worker would visit the home and do regular “inspections”. The worker would search to make sure there were not any new furniture items, clothing, toys, electronics or a man in the home. Many people feel this is when the destruction of the black family unit began. This was also during segregation, so resources and decent jobs for blacks were hard to come by.

Social commentator, Irritated Genie, says as long as you have a black woman, you can always rebuild a civilization. He says, “No matter how much we’ve been destroyed, she can breath life into the children and turn a weak man into a strong man. When he falls in love with her, there ain’t nothing he won’t do to make her happy. Even if that means rebuilding a civilization. They [the powers that be] have calculated this properly.”

Irritated Genie suggests since they who set up the system of destruction understand the importance of the black woman, they are using that knowledge to try and destroy the black race as a whole and not just the family. “In this situation, we have a checkmate. If you can get the black man to concede to the idea that he doesn’t want a black woman and a black woman to concede to the fact that she doesn’t want a black man, then the potential for a future of the race has already been wiped out,” he says.

The 1970s is when the blaxploitation films were a huge success. This genre of films glamorized promiscuous sexual behavior and the disrespect of black women by black men. Prime examples would be the films Super Fly, The Mack and Willie Dynamite. These were the three most popular films in the blaxploitation genre. In the 1980s, black communities were flooded with crack cocaine, which many reliable sources say was deliberately placed in the communities by the CIA. In the 1990s, gang violence was being promoted by the media with movies like Don’t Be A Menace and Menace to Society. In 2015, music that promotes love and relationships (R&B) is almost non existent. Instead, hip hop is at it’s all time high in popularity even though it’s message and sound has been completely dumbed down. More than ever, promiscuous behavior and homosexuality is being promoted and glamorized in music, television and film. This all contributes to the destruction of the family unit. The sad part is, it worked. From blaxploitation came pimping, in the 80s crack hurt many families, in the early 90s gang violence was at an all time high and today’s society lacks substance.



It’s a known fact that the media influences the thoughts, behaviors and perceptions of those who are socially unaware. Propaganda/social engineering is the act of deliberately spreading false or deceptive information, ideas, rumors, doctrines or principals propagated by an organization or movement to help or harm a target person, group of people, movement, institution, nation, etc.

Currently, there seems to be an agenda being pushed to blame the black woman for the dysfunctions that plague the black community. This attack is obvious especially since no one is addressing these major issue when it comes to black men (of course not all black men):

1. promiscuous lifestyle
2. down low homosexual lifestyle
3. fear of marriage, family, commitment and assuming the role of a man when it comes to responsibilities
4. fatherless black children (Fatherless homes can’t be blamed on the women because no one knows the future of their relationship, whether they’re married or not.)
5. the disrespect of their own women in media, especially music

Discover The Networks wrote an interesting article regarding the breakdown of the black family. The article says black women were more likely to get married than white women in the 1950s:

“It bears mention that the astronomical illegitimacy rate among African Americans is a relatively recent phenomenon. As late as 1950, black women nationwide were more likely to be married than white women, and only 9 percent of black families with children were headed by a single parent. In the 1950s, black children had a 52 percent chance of living with both their biological parents until age seventeen; by the 1980s those odds had dwindled to a mere 6 percent. In 1959, only 2 percent of black children were reared in households in which the mother never married; today that figure approaches 60 percent.”

The article also mentions that the destruction was set in place by policies and blacks not valuing themselves in white society:

“The destruction of this stable black family was set in motion by the policies and teachings of the left, which for decades have encouraged blacks to view themselves as outcasts from a hostile American society; to identify themselves as perpetual victims who are entitled to compensatory privileges designed to “level the playing field” in a land where discrimination would otherwise run rampant; and to reject “white” norms and traditions as part and parcel of the “racist” culture that allegedly despises blacks. It is not inconceivable that one of those traditions which many blacks have chosen to abjure is the institution of marriage.”

Things have got to get better and they will. Post your thoughts.