This opinion could get me into some hot water with some folks, but it is something that has been bubbling up inside of me for quite some time. It seems quite apparent to me, the black culture (or what is left of it) is going not moving in the right direction and we are in need of an intervention.
One of the reasons I feel this way is because of the side chick phenomenon that seems to be growing in the black community, but why?
Let’s explore, in my opinion, why this is happening in the black community.
Invention of this Word, Side Chick
This word, side chick, to reference the woman who is willingly dating or being intimate with a married man is too clean. It has sanitized the realm of being the “other woman”, the whore, bed wench, the adulterer. Makes it seem like an acceptable title for someone to have or aspire to or accept in their life.
This seems to be what many of the new age black women are aspiring to be. And tell me what black man don’t want to have a “side chick” or two on their team when their is no blow back from the community, friends or family for doing so.
Low Relationship Standards
Clearly, there are some low self esteem and relationship standards at play here because otherwise, who would stand for being the extra in a relationship. These women don’t think much about themselves and the men think even less to put them in this situation. And the man clearly has no love or appreciation for his wife at home if he is up to these underhanded activities.
Fear of Polygamy
In essence, being the side chick in a relationship or having one is polygamy. The only problem with this is the wife is not aware of the relationship. The other two people know they are involved in polygamy, but the wife is kept in the dark.
The reason I say fear isn’t because the parties don’t want to be involved in this style of relationship, but they are too afraid to be open an honest enough to say it. If you want to be married, but have an open relationship with other people, then you should have the gall to say it to your partner. Who knows, they might be up for it, but they should get the option to choose.
Let’s face it, the other woman or side chick is nothing new. The only problem today is the media, celebrities, reality television and social media seems to glorify the position as something of honor or stature. When in fact, it is degrading, home wrecking, and treacherous behavior.
But hey, it makes for good entertainment and ratings, so we know this isn’t going to disappear any time soon as long as the media corporations are controlling the content the black community indulges.
Lack of Successful Marriages To Model
The ugly truth about the black community is we don’t seem to be interested in marriage these days. There was a time when the black community’s marriage rate was higher than that of the white community, but no more.
Lack of Consequences
As long as you have no morals or conscious, then there are no consequences to being a side chick. The community doesn’t repel you. There are no financial fall outs. Nothing is stopping women from taking a few husbands for a spin, get what they can, and moving on.
Lack of Available Men Excuse Accepted
This is one that you hear from many professional or young women in the community. They say there are not enough men to go around. Once you reach a certain age or stature in your life, then the dating pool dries up and there are nothing but married men left.
Garbage. I don’t buy that, but i’m not a woman, yet this excuse is widely spread and accepted in the community as valid. Stop it!
Men Who Want To Date While Married
Let’s face the fact here. If there were no men that wanted to date while they were married, then there wouldn’t be any such thing as a side chick. However, there seems to be a plethora of men that are not only willing to “date” while married, but are looking for the opportunities. They are well aware of the commonly used excuse that there aren’t enough eligible black men in the world, so they are fishing.
Men Shower Side Chicks With Gifts, Trips, and Favors
In fact, not only are married men willing to date, but they are willing to financially support and spoil their side chicks often moreso than their wives at home. This contributes to the excess of women in the world who feel it is ok to play the side chick for a while to get a few bills paid, take a vacation or get some additional favors in exchange for the service they give. (Oh, don’t be silly, there is a service provided by the side chick. We use to call them “women of the night”, but again the practice has been sanitized.)
Available Women Willing To Play Their Position
Another fact is there are just a ready and willing crowd of black women out there willing to sit on the sidelines and wait for their married boo to have time for them. They don’t want the headaches of dealing with a man of their own, but just want to have some fun every now and again with their married man.
The crazy thing is it just seems like this number is growing.
I’m sure this list could go on and one, but I want to turn it over to you.
Why do you think the side chick phenomenon is taking roots and growing in the black community? Is there anything we can do about to regain control of our culture in this regard so it doesn’t continue to spin out of control?
Reposted from http://urbanintellectuals.com/2014/08/05/10-reasons-the-side-chick-phenomenon-seems-to-be-growing-in-the-black-community/